Thursday, July 22, 2010 this

I am slowly getting my nerve up to write on my blog what is ultimately on my heart. I must remember, though, that it is a desire that has been God given. What this means to me is that it is possible to change and it is possible to stay the same...either way, I must stay the course HE has for me!

I've been trying to stay at peace. It's been hard. There has been some incidents only a half hour away from where God is leading me that causes me to fear. Yes, it is a mission trip. And it is far away. And I have never flown...and I realllyyy don't want to start now! But it looks like God has something like that in mind. It's the only way to get there. And I'd be there for two weeks. Without my husband or sweet children. But, I'd have the Lord, as always. He never, ever leaves.

At times, I think to myself, is He fooling me? Really? Uganda? Truly?

And then I recall the hands that has brought to me subtle and not so subtle whispers of the path I am to follow. I recall sitting on the church pew fighting back a waterfall of tears as I watched our church team's presentation of the mission trip. I recall the clearerst ever nudging from God. The slideshow of photos of children in need of so much. There's a population of over 50% children in Uganda. There's diseased, motherless, fatherless, hungry.....people. People that God has not forgotten. We always think He has forgotten us, too, but he hasn't. His timing and ways and plans are not ours. They are God's. For that I am thankful.

Beyond the time and space, and even my physical challenge of fibromyalgia, there's the funds factor, and I will trust in God also for this.
It is for such a time as this that my faith has begun a growth I haven't felt in a long time. Long. Time. Prayers, peace, and patience are what I need each day. I've had some overwhelming thoughts, of homeschholing and managing my crafting, as well as preparation. Thenjust like that it subsides. Only to reappear again later! Constant struggle....hoping not so constant soon!

(please excuse my new blog in progress...definitely some kinks to work out....)



Reinspire said...

God does clearly speak to us if we are listening. That is always so cool when it happens. If God wants you to go, he will take care of EVERY detail...even the ones that seem impossible! That is how God shows His Glory!

Sam said...

Many prayers for you, Amy. Many prayers.