monday was tough, a battle with my daughter. a battle with attitude. i was oh, so so weary.
tuesday, a reprieve when we went to my parents' for dinner and enjoying the outdoors.
today, gathering music for a wedding in a couple weekends, finishing school for the day, readying my brain for choir...
and contemplating....waiting for the rain to end, the headache to end as well.
philip was reading a book last night, a book i was astonished to see him have. he took it off of the dishwasher.
Water From the Rock- writings from Luther, Crosby, Moody, Spurgeon, and more.
He read the first several devotions last night and had a special place marked, where he'd left off.
He wanted to read more today first thing for school.
I then asked him his favorite. He showed me. The Light of Hope.
One phrase states we can't always see that far down the path, but we can at least see our next step, and direction. And what we think is a monster in the dark is really a little bug in the light. And one more thing- that was a sweet, little read; it's a small lamp, and it's warmth, that gives us just enough of the peace and light we need to sleep. It reminds us that God loves and protects us.
Sometimes, a lot of times, we need "a whole lot" to show us He cares, or at least, we want a whole lot. But, that one little spark or tiny flame can reach inside your heart just as well. Discontentment seems to be engrained in all parts of this wordly life. It's hard not to own that feeling as a Christian. We need one more pair of shoes, one more song on our iPod, one more car. Yet, we seldom ask for the "one more" gift from our Lord, a thought or scripture to be shown to us. A prayer from a friend. Another chance to love. It's a focus on physical needs, too much so.
I want to raise my children in a home that desires to minister to others, all while learning about the love of the Lord in their own heart. I see others' children partaking in more Bible reading, and memory verse learning, and my children, yes, are doing such things, but not as aggressively. As a child, I had to work harder, was more persistent at getting good grades, than others, even more than my brother, who things came naturally. I think that perhaps my personality has come down to my own children, and things will come to them, not all at once, but God will shape their character, and He will do it in his own time, at the perfect time.
Whatever struggles, and trials, and battles...huge battles...we have right now are for a purpose I believe. They are not fun. They break spirits down. In the end, they point us to HIM for his strength and wisdom. That is what light I want to see....I don't have it. I need it. The Lord understands our need for him, and is oh, so willing to bridge that gap and help us. I am willing.